1:13 am, 7/22/12

There's a military acronym that accurately describes my summer: Sx2, Dx2.  It stands for Same Sh!t, Different Day, and that's about what it has felt like this summer.  On one job, an unreliable backup was hired for me, and she has lived down to her reputation.  As a result, I am pulling 6 days/50+ hours a week there.  On the other, the GM (someone I consider a friend) can't trust anyone outside a small core group (including me), and as a result I am working a max schedule to help her out.  And people wonder why I pound caffeinated drinks and am grumpy much of the time.....

Let's continue with the grumpy theme and do a simple list:  5 Things Pissing Me Off Right Now.  As always, your mileage may vary....

5.) Sanctimonious A$$holes Using The Colorado Tragedy -  Right now, this encompasses three main groups.  First are the gun-control zealots, who are in full blather about how tougher gun laws would have prevented this event.  No one KNOWS how that might have changed things.  However, a.) only 1 of the 4 weapons used would have been subject to the most common gun control laws, b.) the subject did nothing illegal in obtaining any of the firearms or ammunition used in the attack nor given the gift of hindsight would he have been subject to any provision of law commonly used to block sales (criminal history, mental illness, etc.) and,  c.) this was a meticulously plotted, long term plan carried out by a patient, determined individual.  He would have gotten what he wanted, legally or not (To quote Jean Reno in "Godzilla", "This eez America.  You can buy anything here.").  Not to play favorites, the second group are the gun-rights people, primarily because of one idiotic premise being repeated like a mantra.  To those who say someone carrying a concealed gun might have prevented some or all of the casualties, allow me to retort.  If that were the case, now you have two armed parties firing at each other in a crowded, dark, smoke-filled environment.  Yep, I am certain that would have lowered the number of people visiting local hospitals and morgues.  Sit down and shut up please.  Finally, there are what I call the hand wringers.   They cry loud and long about what could have caused this young man to do the heinous things he did, trying desperately to fit him with a nice, neat label.  He's "crazy", "mentally ill", "insane", etc.  Guess what?  He is none of those things.  Philosopher Napoleon Hill famously wrote, "What the mind of a man can conceive and believe, it can achieve."  That is exactly what James Holmes did, just like the 9/11 hijackers, the 1972 Munich Olympic terrorists, Unibomber Ted Kaczynski, and many others.  It is because the morality of their undertakings falls outside of what is generally considered "normal" that some try to use other labels to quantify them.  In turn that misuse of the above labels does a grave injustice to those whom they are truthfully applied.  The mentally ill don't deserve to be associated with killers and terrorists.  Remember, going back to the Garden of Eden, there has been evil in our world.  The individuals and groups listed above are just the snakes and Cains of the 21st Century. 

4.) Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes - Roughly one-third of all American marriages end in divorce.  My first wife and I divorced after only 4 years of marriage.  So one more marriage is ending up on the scrapheap.  OK, move along, nothing more to see here.  I don't need any sordid details.  I don't need gloating over another failed celebrity marriage.  What I need is to stop having "news" outlets ramming this down my throat.

3.) Followers of Jersey Shore - I can't even begin to tell you how disgusted I am that any of the morons on this show have become popular.  Then I see them described as "role models" in a Rolling Stone magazine story.  Okay, lets see.  Arrogant individuals with an ridiculously strong sense of self entitlement?  Check.  Borderline alcoholism?  Check.  High risk sexual practices?  Check.  Likely drug and steroid abuse? Check.  Hell, yeah, just the kind of people I want my children emulating!  I live in a beach community, and more and more you hear the term "guido" when referring to this kind of person.  Trust me, it is not a term of endearment.

2.) Joe Paterno - I am just plain sick and tired of this whole, shrill debate.  I am not a Paterno or Penn State fan.  Frankly, outside of the disastrous Sandusky cover-up, they haven't had any relevance to me since the mid-1980's.  I would almost feel sorry for the broken man who died knowing his carefully constructed career and reputation were in tatters and forever tainted, except that from the moment the first revelations came out in 2010 about his lack of action given an eyewitness account of unconscionable child abuse it was crystal clear the safety of the child was his lowest priority.  From then it took less than a year to destroy a half century body of work.  Yet now, half a year after his death, people are still attacking him as if he were alive.  It's a one-sided debate, since he obviously can't defend himself.  Now the attacks have shifted to his statue, located outside the Penn State stadium.  The zealots want it removed, as if the statue was responsible for the abuse.  We can't honor a man who allowed this to happen, they cry.  Clearly, this faction wants everyone to believe that Paterno never did a single thing to benefit the university in his 50+ years there, and he should be judged solely by the Sandusky affair.  But perhaps the opposite approach would be better.  As Germany has kept the Holocaust concentration camp memorials as historical warnings to others, perhaps the Paterno statue should stay so that others might see it and say, "That's what can happen to a good man who made the terrible mistake of taking the easy path rather than the righteous one."  I don't have the answer.  I'm just sick of listening to the screams of those ready to cast the first stone.

1.) Lack of Commitment - Just show up.  How hard is that?  Apparently much more so than I realised.  At both my places of employment, it has proven to be damn near impossible.  At the hotel, the person hired to be my back-up and cover for days off has seemingly decided that the schedule is a severe obstacle to her living her life.  In fact, due to a variety of "ailments" she hasn't worked in almost 3 weeks.  At the restaurant, one assistant manager has abruptly pulled a Jimmy Hoffa (hasn't been seen in a week), another assistant manager refuses to work past his scheduled time regardless of how busy we are (and usually we are scrambling to cover all the work he was supposed to do but didn't), and an unfortunate number of the staff treat the schedule as a suggestion rather than the business plan it is supposed to be.  The result has been a summer the likes of which I have never encountered before.  I am working 85-95 hours a week.  Our family finally made it to the beach last week for the first time, and summer is half over!  My wife is hamstrung in almost anything she tries to plan due to my schedule and the fact I am exhausted when I am home.  Basically this summer has sucked (2 days excepted), and that is why other people's lack of commitment to do the bare minimums expected of them is the #1 thing pissing me off right now.

"Off with their heads!" - The Red Queen, "Alice in Wonderland"

What do you think?  Whiny bitchfest or Right on the Mark?  Let me know what you think.  Until next time, regards.  JW

2:39 am, 7/01/12

2:39 am.  Things here at work have finally quieted down a bit.  I find the respite boring, so what to do?  Might as well post something here.  But what?  I'm not the writer, my wife is the blogger in the family.  My sense of humor tends to the obscure, so that is out.  DC United won tonight by 3-0, but it was over Montreal, so conversation about that ends faster than France's participation in a competitive soccer tournament.  I haven't had free time to read or watch movies lately, so I can't even go there.  So how about we do 5 random thoughts from the world of sports that affect my favorite teams?.  From "Huh, how about that?"  to "Horny Playboy centerfolds couldn't distract me from this!"

5.) Keep it in your pants! - The worst kept secret in American sports is that a significant portion of our professional athletes are swingers/adulterers/philanderers of the highest order.  From the ribald and frequently drunken escapades of Babe Ruth to Tiger Woods sticking his "putter" in all the rough he could, sex "scandals" have embarressed many players, regardless of the sport.  So this week brings news that Golden State Warriors coach Mark Jackson is being shaken down by a stripper, and ex-NFL wide receiver Terrell Owens is trying to prevent a "girlfriend" from selling pictures of him masturbating.  A number of media outlets are treating this as a big deal.  I say, "So what?"  A secret isn't a secret if more than one person knows it.  Having said that, none of the people involved here are angels.  Jackson (the adulterer) is being "extorted" by a stripper with a list of criminal convictions that would make a seasoned hooker blush, while Owens is suddenly afraid that after his ex- got the pictures, she would try to make a quick buck selling them (sort of like how he's whoring himself out now to any pro or semi-pro football team that will listen).  My question is, by what thought process did any of these four think these escapades would end well?  Then again, I may be giving too much credit to any of them by expecting rational thought.

4.) Orioles trade for Jim Thome - Quelle surprise!  Baltimore made a trade that didn't involve a salary dump, a desperate grab for "prospects" or getting fleeced by sharper GM's.  This deal actually makes a lot of sense.  The Orioles, despite their shockingly competitive start to the season, can't hit.  Thome is at the age (41) where he is a totally useless in the field, BUT he can still swing the bat with venom.  The designated hitter was created for guys like him.  The Phillies clear a roster spot for someone who can actually reach down to their ankles to field a grounder, plus take a flier on a couple of very raw prospects (neither of whom had a prayer of contributing to the Orioles within the next 3-4 years).  Even if Philly gets nothing from the prospects, this is a deal that can help both clubs in the short term.  Not bad, Orioles.  Not too bad at all.

3.) Wizards fail to screw up the Draft - Despite a debatable trade just a couple of days before the 2012 NBA draft (I thought the Ernie Grunfeld should have either kept their draft pick OR gotten more from the Hornets), the Wizards still managed to get the player they coveted and most analysts seem to agree was the best fit for their team.  By drafting guard Bradley Beal, the Wiz hopefully have an ouside shooter who can force teams to stop packing the middle against John Wall's slashing drives.  Of course, they promptly wasted their 2nd round pick on a Euro guard who will likely never make an impact on the NBA, rather than picking from several well regarded players still available at the time. Nevertheless, in the past few days thay have added the shooter they wanted, a decent big man in Okafor and a hard working veteran in Trevor Ariza at the cost of Rashard Lewis and a late draft pick.  While no one can be sure how this will turn out, I am a little happier about the Wizards and their situation than I was a week ago.

2.) Good News/Bad News about Chris Pontius - As is becoming routine of late, Chris Pontius turned in another stellar effort for DC United tonight in their 3-0 win over Montreal.  The highlight was an excellent slithery run that turned 3 defenders inside out before finishing with a supurb left footed strike to open the game's scoring.  It's clear now (after 9 goals in 18 games) that Pontius is fully recovered from the broken leg he suffered at the end of last season.  It should also provide more evidence to US National team manager Jurgen Klinsmann that Pontius is ready for another look as perhaps (best case scenario) a Clint Dempsey protege.  The bad news is that Pontius' body of work has not gone unnoticed by international scouts, and the others whispers concerning him are about a move to a European club, specifically Socheaux (likely based on a recommendation from Charlie Davies) and Rennes.  Hopefully those moves are a ways off, and Pontius can help lead United on the deep playoff run we fans have so desperately craved for 8 long years.

1.) Spain v. Italy - A decent, if not sparkling Euro 2012 ends later today with the final between defending champs Spain and an Italy side looking for a first major title since 2006.  Spain has looked almost bored at times, though that is partly because a disturbing number of opponents just packed everyone back on defense and played for a tie or penalties.  Since it's opening tilt against Spain in the first game of group play (a 1-1 draw), Italy has played a more attacking style led by Pirlo, di Natale and Ballotelli.  Hopefully they continue this approach rather than bunkering the defense again, but I still don't think their shaky back four can hold up against the likes of Pedro, Xabi Alonso, Fabregas, Iniesta and the rest of the Spanish attack.  I think Italy will give it a solid effort, but in the end Spain will simply be too good.  3-1 Spain.

Well, those are my over-caffinated musing for today.  Hope you enjoyed.  Regards, JW

US National Team Roster

Well, we are now about 13 hours removed from the US National Soccer Team's loss to the Czech Republic, and several hours prior to the unveiling of the final roster for the World Cup. Since my picks are usually better for producing derisive laughter than accuracy, here's my take on who should be getting boarding passes to the South Africa Express.

Starting Lineup

• Jozy Altidore, S - Perhaps the key to US success in South Africa. You can defend like crazy and get by, but if you want to be a threat you must score goals. Altidore has shown flashes, but not consistency yet. If he can deliver 2-4 goals for the US, I think they can at worst be competitive, and perhaps beat a weakened German side to get to the quarterfinals.
• Brian Ching,F - Ching is not Brian McBride, but he is the best option among the other US forwards to pair with Altidore. A tireless worker and quality holding forward with good awareness and passing ability, he showed last night he is healthy again after a hamstring problem.
• Landon Donovan, LMF - The playmaker. Donovan seems to play his best out on the left, rather than in the congestion of the middle where it is easier for opposing defenses to swarm him. The US really needs his creativity to shine this time, rather than the muted performance of 2006.
• Clint Dempsey, CMF - The wildcard. Dempsey blows very hot and cold, but when he's on he is a serious scoring threat. He's also the US team's best shooter from distance. In a more aggressive look, Bob Bradley can push him up and effectively go with three forwards.
• Michael Bradley, DMF - As long as he plays under control, Bradley is by far the best defensive midfielder the US has. He also has a nose for goal and is not afraid to attack. The only concerns are that he has a propensity to accumulate cards (which has hurt the US in the past) and if he is too aggressive, he forces Dempsey to play too much defense.
• Stuart Holden, RMF - A year ago he's not even in the picture. Yesterday, he was the best player by far for the US. Willing and able to both attack and defend, fast enough to get up and down the flanks, and a skilled crosser and set piece taker, he's pushed the more experienced Beasley to the bench.
• Steve Cherundolo, RB - He gets the nod mostly by virtue of his experience. Smart and conservative, the concern is he can be overpowered by more physical players. Still, he is capable of getting forward and crossing well, and is rarely caught out of position. Basically, a solid professional.
• Oguchi Onyewu, CB - Coming off a serious knee injury, Onyewu did little to dispel the jitters of Sam's Army with a tepid performance against the Czech's that showed both rust and fitness issues. Getting out jumped by a shorter player for the first Czech goal is a huge concern for a player facing the 6'7" Peter Crouch in the World Cup opener. Still, he's a quality player and a presence other teams must deal with, so barring a setback he needs to be in the side. He could really use a month's worth of games, but he only has 2 left. Cross your fingers.
• Jay DeMerit, CB - Another razor thin determination based on experience, as I feel DeMerit's Premiership experience against top strikers has him best prepared to pair with Onyewu. He's physical, fast, and has a nose for the ball and a knack for deflections, all positive traits. Plus, it's unlikely he'll be intimidated by anyone he faces as he's already played many of them on a regular basis. Again, a solid pro.
• Carlos Bocanegra, LB - A real need call, as I would much rather play Bocanegra in the middle with Onyewu. However, other US left backs have ranged from bad to disastrous, so Boca goes outside where he plays for his club side, Rennes. Tough, physical and experienced, he's a classic defender, but can be a threat to score on set pieces. The sole concern is his lack of speed, which he often is able to offset with good positioning.
• Tim Howard, G - One of the best keepers in the world, Howard is a commanding presence with excellent athleticism and reflexes. His ability to read the game is much improved as a result of his time in the Premiership, and his play is key to a good US Cup run.

The Bench

• Herculez Gomez, F - A classic poacher whose goal against the Czechs clinched his spot. His lack of international experience is offset by his ability to score goals and current red hot form. A 20-30 minute sub when offensive punch is necessary.
• Edson Buddle, F - Another selection mostly based on form, a willingness to mix it up in the 18 (as shown with his creation of the first US goal against the Czechs) and the other candidates. Unlikely to see much playing time.
• Maurice Edu, MF - Rapidly improving as a quality defensive midfielder who also has a nose for goal. A replacement for a tiring Dempsey if the US has a lead or for Bradley if he gets in card trouble. Can play central defense, but only should in a real emergency.
• Ricardo Clark, MF - Another defensive midfielder with the ability to shoot from distance. Given Bradley suspension problems in the past, and the possible need to move Dempsey to forward, this is a necessary duplication. Also enhances the ability to kill off games if in the lead late.
• Jose Torres, MF - Provides a creative spark off the bench, as well as a skill player who can settle possession and control tempo. Could be brought in with Gomez if there is a need for offense due to a deficit.
• Damarcus Beasley, MF - A nonfactor six months ago who has played his way back into the side with renewed passion and a new found willingness to defend, Beasley provides both vast experience and considerable speed to throw at tiring defenses. You just hope you get the 2002 version, and not the Confederations Cup version, but the potential reward is worth the risk.
• Robbie Rogers, MF - Another fast flank player who is a better crosser and offensive threat than Beasley, but with far less polish and experience. Unlikely to see much playing time, but a better option than those left behind.
• Jonathan Spector, D - The first choice off the bench, Spector could also conceivably start at left back if Bob Bradley chooses to move Bocanegra into the middle with Onyewu. As a Premier League veteran, Spector should be ready to play. The big question is his speed, and can he handle the fast flank players he would be facing.
• Clarence Goodson, D - Another who has played his way onto the team in the last year, Goodson is the backup central defender for Onyewu. Smart and physically gifted, he lacks only experience and looks to be a match for Onyewu in the future.
• Jonathan Bornstein, D - The lesser of two evils as the backup left back. This is a critical sore spot for the US, already forcing Bocanegra to move out from the middle. The idea of Bornstein facing Theo Walcott or Neil Lennon is just short of terrifying. While he has some speed and is physically solid, Bornstein is prone to biting on ball fakes, doesn't read the game well and is caught out of position far more than one would like. USSoccer really must spend the next four years trying to develop some depth at this position.
• Marcus Hahnemann, G - The clear #2 for the US, coming off an excellent season with Wolverhampton where he started the season on the bench but won the starting spot. Big, experienced, and very sound positionally, he could start for a number of other World Cup sides.
• Brad Guzan, G - Along for the ride, hopefully. The backup to Brad Friedel at Aston Villa, Guzan is physically gifted, but has shown some rust and inexperience in recent internationals. He's young, and the future is bright, but he needs games. As a side note, there isn't a team in the world as deep in talented keepers as the US.

The Outsiders

• Eddie Johnson, F - Physically gifted, but his touch, game sense and finishing simply are not of international quality.
• Robbie Finlay, F - Speed to burn, but an awful first touch and lack of finishing skill doomed his chances. He was rumored to be carrying an injury as well.
• Benny Feilhaber, MF - Simply too many mistakes and too hot and cold, either he was very good or very, very bad. There was not enough consistancy here.
• Alejandro Bedoya, MF - There is some promise here, but this is a young player who needs more experience in a tougher league.
• Sasha Kljestan, MF - Played himself off the team. After the Sweden friendly last year, you couldn't imagine him not going. Could really have benefitted from the transfer to Celtic that fell through.
• Chad Marshall, D - Showed flashes of ability in central defense, but an injury carried into training camp likely killed his chances. Someone to consider for the future.
• Heath Pearce, D - Given every chance to succeed in the left back competition, and couldn't get it done. Constantly victimized by opposing forwards, he simply failed to show any international level ability.

Well, that's how I see it. We'll know for sure what Bob Bradley thinks in just a few hours. More coming soon on the World Cup! Stay tuned. [see below for more.]

John

3:30pm, Wednesday 5/26

Well, the deed is done and there are only two differences from what I picked. Feilhaber goes over Rogers (obviously Bradley is gambling on getting good Benny), and the one that surprised everyone, Findlay over Ching at forward. The reasoning here is pretty clear, with Bradley going for speed (to replace Charlie Davies) over a slower, more experienced holding player. The concern here is twofold. First, given Findlay's slight build, this makes effectively makes Altidore a holding forward. To use an old expression, this seems to me to be making a racehorse into a mule. In addition, there is little evidence that this is a role Altidore is suited for. We saw a little of it against Holland (with mixed results) due to the ineffectiveness of Conor Casey, but that's all I can recall. The other problem is that this means either you are starting a very inexperienced forward in the World Cup (Findlay, Buddle and Gomez combined have barely a dozen caps) or you have to move Clint Dempsey up to forward, weakening the midfield. Neither is a very palatable option, in my view. We should get a better idea of what Bradley is thinking Saturday against Turkey. See you after than with more thoughts.

John

Potpourri

Well, I'm back after a short (ha!) hiatus caused by, well, heck, I just didn't feel like posting. For 5 months. No writer's block. No time constraints. Just too much laziness and Mafia Wars on Facebook (which I'm still not very good at...). Nor do I come bearing any great messages or solutions to the world's problems. I'll just give a few opinions and snarky thoughts on sports matters of the day, then be on my way...

1. Floyd Landis is a cheat and a liar - Well, I am just shocked! Floyd Landis, the disgraced and disqualified 2006 Tour de France bicycle race winner has finally admitted that yes he doped, but NOT for the race he was busted in, just for the rest of his bloody career! Oh, and by the way, Lance Armstrong, George Hincappie and just about every other cyclist does it, which is why he did it in the first place. He only spent 4 years and millions of dollars (much of it raised on his website from fan donations) in a futile attempt to prove his innocence. Now he pulls this stunt. And why? Because, by his own admission, he's broke and the statute of limitations for penalties from his actions has expired. What a hypocrite! This is why the world of sport can make one physically ill. The blatant cynicism, greed and attention-whoring of a significant number of the world's athletes is repulsive, and is not just an American phenomenon. No question, there are a lot of athletes who do an enormous amount of charitable work (Martina Navratilova, Darrell Green, Dikembe Mutumbo and the late Roberto Clemente are just a few who come immediately to mind), but as with a barrel of apples, the rot of a few tarnishes the work of many. It seems a shame that the desperate attempts of a failed con man can distract from the many events going on this spring and summer. Let us move on to...
2. The Premiership season has drawn to an end, and as usual I missed my picks for the top of the table. While I got three of the top four sides right (Chelsea, Manchester United and Arsenal) and the fourth was one of my projected surprise teams (Tottenham Hotspur), with the exception of Arsenal finishing third I missed on the order. Chelsea's title owned much to two factors, the return to form of a number of their older players (notably Didier Drogba and Kolo Toure) and the late season injuries to ManU's Wayne Rooney and that side's general losses to the training room all season. Would a healthy Red Devil side have been strong enough to keep the title away from Chelsea? It's impossible to say, especially given the Blues' excellent form in games against the other contenders, but I would like to think the last several weeks would have had greater suspense than simply watching Liverpool implode. Speaking of the Reds (my other top 4 pick), is it any surprise that they were completely undone by injuries? I worried about that in my preview, and sure enough Gerrard and Torres spent more time in the training room than on the pitch. Combine that with Rafa Benitez's increasingly erratic managerial style, and this was a team perfumed with the stench of decay. Some serious offseason renovations will be necessary to make Liverpool a contender again. On the other end of the table, however, I came up aces. Unfortunately, that wasn't much of an accomplishment, as the demises of Burnley (too little talent) and Portsmouth (no money and too much off-the-field baggage) were clear from day 1, and Hull was clearly the inevitable Phil Brown meltdown away from collapse. West Ham's woeful offense and Wigan's equally dreadful defense made things interesting for a while, but neither was a serious threat to go down. In fact, if you put West Ham's attack with Wigan's defenders, you had.....Burnley! Ugh. With the completion of the Premiership season, we look now to the....
3. Champions League Final - If I had said at the beginning of the UEFA Champions League competition that neither Barcelona nor Manchester United/Chelsea would make the finals, I would have been regarded as a leper in a nudist colony. And yet, under the most improbable of circumstances, Saturday's final is Bayern Munich v. Inter Milan. Both are sides that at one point or another appeared to be on the verge of elimination, and yet after each disposed of a major contender (Bayern dumping ManU on Robbins' scintillating score at Old Trafford in the quarterfinals and Inter's stunning dismissal of Barca at the Nou Camp while down a man in the semi's) here we are. I can't say I'm a huge fan of the Bundesliga, which frequently resembles rugby, and I don't trust the Serie A and it's history of bribery and corruption, but both of these sides have advanced on merit. Thus I am hopeful of a quality match. The way I see it, if Bayern can score first, preferably early, then we should be in for an exciting match. However, if Inter can get an early strike, or keep the game scoreless, I can see this being a long, dull affair. As much as I would prefer to see Bayern win, I think that we'll see see that the loss of Frank Ribery will be too great to overcome, and Samual Eto'o will find a way to score against the run of play as Inter wins 1-0. Hopefully I am wrong. The end of this match will lead us right to ...
4. The World Cup - I'll have a lot more to say about this in the coming 21 days, so I'll just touch on a few hot buttons. A.) I love Charlie Davies. He leaves everything on the field, he has a nose for goal and an infections love of the game. He also has no business on the US Team. I can't express enough my admiration for his recovery from the near-fatal car accident last fall, or his desire to make the team. But when club and country physios are unanimous that you are not ready to play, then it's not a conspiracy. It's honest concern for a player's well being and future. It's time to put aside the bitterness of not making the side and concentrate on making a full, measured recovery to be able to play your best for Sochaux come August. B.) People are surprised at the omission of Toni, Del Piero and Totti from the Italian side. Really? Why? Because they are well known names and veterans of the Azzuri? Toni was not a serious factor in club play this year, and has shown repeatedly to be a no-show when it comes to international competitions. Del Piero is so far over the hill he can't even see the summit anymore. Totti was at least tied for 6th in goals and for 12th in assists, and an argument could be made on his behalf, but there are number of younger, demonstrably better options to him. Factor in his history of injury, and I'm not surprised in the least at his omission. Though these elder statesmen of Italian football will not be going to South Africa, I am still worried about the age of this squad, especially on defense. While theirs is a middling group, and I can see them progressing, I have trouble seeing them get past Spain in the quarters if they win their group (or past the Netherlands in the round of 16 if they finish 2nd). Keep an eye on Giuseppi Rossi, the American-born forward, who has authored some very classy goal in recent international call-ups. C.)More upset over the Brazilian omissions of Ronaldinho and Adriano. Again, why? Ronaldinho's best days are past him now, and while he still plays at an impressive level for his age, he has been surpassed by other players on Dunga's roster. Especially with Brazil, their goal in every World Cup is to win, and that means there is no room for valedictory tours for older players. That is Ronaldinho's position at this point, and there is no reason to give a roster spot to someone who will not play now OR in the future. Adriano is the football equivalent of Terrell Owens: poison in the clubhouse. Regardless of his skills, he is simply not worth the trouble he causes, and the farther Dunga can keep him from the Selecao, the better for Brazil.
5. DC Ughhh, I mean United - Well, I hate to say it, but my favorite club is in desperate straits. Bad defense, zero (and I mean NO) offense, a raft of injuries and a manager who appears out of his depth: this is not what I as a fan expect from MLS' most decorated team. It's hard to know where to start, so we'll start at the top. Owner Will Chang says all the right things, and he's popular with many fans for his accessibility, but really, what has changed? There is still no solution to the stadium problem, and none appears imminent. The team is hemorrhaging money, and is showing a reluctance to spend on players (though it's unclear if that is an ownership or management decision). There is vague talk of the June transfer window, but by the DC may be out of contention, especially given the form of Columbus and New York (I can't believe I just wrote that) in the East. GM Kevin Payne is looking more and more out of his depth, and the club just lost John Maessner, the youth program director that developed young stars Bill Hamid and Andy Najar. The scouting department hasn't produced any players of note other than draft picks Chris Pontius and Rodney Wallace last year, and their veteran player acquisition record is abysmal. Manager Curt Onalfo was not productive in Kansas City (from which he was sacked last summer), and has continued that trend with United. Granted, the team has been gutted by injuries to half the roster, but even so, it is only in recent games that the team has even been competitive. The selection of Onalfo was disparaged by many supporters (including myself, who preferred New York assistant Ritchie Williams). If the team continues on it's current path, not only are the playoffs an impossible dream, but Onalfo (and hopefully Payne) will likely face the axe. On the field, things are difficult to evaluate due to the plethora of injuries. The are several bright spots, starting with Bill Hamid in goal, who has sent high priced Troy Perkins to the bench. Though he was the victim of swiss cheese defense, Perkins' seeming loss of confidence and inability to coordinate the defense have made him a mere shadow of what United fans expected. Hamid has made some rookie mistakes, but he clearly has organized a defence that has improved in recent weeks, and has the physical tools that Perkins lacks. Hamid has future star written all over him (the upside is a Tim Howard-like career arc), and I would not be surprised to see European sides looking seriously at him in a year or two. A huge preseason concern, the defense has been in flux all season due in part to major injuries to center backs Dejan Jakovic and Juan Manuel Pena, and outside backs Brian Namoff and Marc Burch. Their replacements have ranged from the disastrous (Julius James, who has no business on an MLS side) to the retreads (Carey Talley) to the stopgaps (Rodney Wallace). Only rookie Jordan Graye has made any kind of positive impression, and he is still very prone to youthful errors. Just as critically, the injury to defensive mid Clyde Simms was disastrous, as there was simply no one to replace him. It's no coincidence that United's defensive improvement began with Simms' return. The midfield has been an absolute black hole, with injuries to Pontius, Najar and Santino Quaranta depriving the team of any creative play (not that any of the injured are the answer to the need for a quality playmaker). Starved of service, the forwards have produced little of consequence, though Adam Christman and Australian international Danny Allsopp are showing signs of a partnership. Still, this team began the season relying on 36-year-old Jaime Moreno for scoring, and recently resigned castoff Luciano Emilio, both desperation moves in my eyes. There is one overriding common denominator for this team: a dreadful lack of team speed. Given the fact that MLS teams still rely as much on physical talent as they do on skill, this is the kiss of death in the league. Worse, there is no easy solution. One or two signings will not turn this side around unless they are Arjen Robben and Carlos Tevez (though being the mercenaries they are, they might consider it for the right price - just kidding!!). It's shaping up as another rough year to be a United fan....Sigh.
6. Quick Hits - Wizards get #1 Pick - Good for them. As bad as their last year was (Abe Pollin, dies, the Arenas/Crittenden gun debacle, blowing up the team via trade and finishing out of the NBA playoffs yet again), they deserved a little luck. Here's hoping this pick works out better for them than Kwame Brown.....Redskins Holdout, Moss and more controversy - Their best defensive player (Albert Haynesworth) hates the new coach and won't show up for offseason workouts. Their best returning offensive player (Santana Moss) is now embroiled in a criminal investigation involving performance enhancing drugs. The work ethic of their top draft pick is being questioned by many observers. So, is there any good news about the team. Umm, well, no. Capitals Playoff Debacle - They were the #1 overall team in the NHL regular season, as well as the highest scoring. They boasted a two-time MVP, and three solid offensive and two good defensive lines. The only small , minor niggling concern was goaltending. Hello, Achilles. A combination of a hot goalie (Montreal's) and two who were not (the Caps') and once again, it's an early golf season for the locals. And in the most frustrating way possible, coughing up a 3-2 series lead because the opponents simply played solid, blue collar hockey and outhustled the Caps most of the way. The talent is there, but discipline and grinding are clearly items that must be addressed if the Caps hope to be a factor in the future. Reversal of Fortune, sort of - The Orioles stink. I mean, they are really, really bad. Going to get the manager fired kind of bad. There is some potential in the starting pitching, but the bullpen stinks and and outside of Mets castoff Tye Wigginton, so does the offense. Another high draft pick is in the offing, methinks. 45 miles down I-95, the big news is that the Nationals are competitive as long as Ryan Zimmerman and Adam Dunn are healthy and imitating Mantle and Dimaggio. I don't think that will last much longer, but with pitchers Drew Storen and phenom Steve Strasburg on the horizon, there's a lot to look forward to in Washington. NBA Playoffs - Yawn. It'll be the Lakers and the Celtics for the 4,924th time. Kobe decides he wants another ring more than stats after 3 games, and the Lakers win in 6. Lebron James is still overrated and hasn't won anything of consequence yet. NHL Playoffs - Lost interest after the Capitals gagged their hairball, though the Bruins choke job was even worse. Throwing a dart at the board, let's give it to the Sharks over the Flyers in 5 games. It's sad how much of a niche sport hockey has become since the strike decimated the fan base....Tiger Woods - Yawn. The womanizing is old news (as is his marriage), and he's rusty after 6-months off. He'll be back. Next...Dancing with the Stars - Yes, I watch, and I'm rooting for Erin! Top Chef Season 7 - Starts June16th, and I can't wait. Rooting for Suser Lee on Top Chef Masters (awesomely bizarre surf 'n' turf challenge - duck tongue? geoduck? sea slug aka sea cucumber? - loved the looks on the chef's faces when they saw that assortment!).

Well, I'm headed for carpel tunnel here, so I guess that it's time to wrap this up. I look forward to your comments, and hopefully it won't be 5 months before my next post! Until then,

"Wherever you go, there you are," Buckaroo Banzai

Why do they call them "Carols" if Carol Bayer Sager (or anyone else named Carol) had nothing to do with 99.9% of them?

Well, 'tis the season once again. Time for a well worn catalogue of about 150 songs to be absolutely played to death by nearly every music outlet in the universe. This is supposed to create "holiday cheer???" I'd much rather have a quiet living room sofa, sitting with my family drinking hot chocolate and watching big snowflakes drifting down outside the picture window. Given global warming, however, it seems that a white Christmas is a statistical improbability anywhere except Denver and Buffalo, so that's out. Thus, in the appropriate spirit of resignation (and after an entertaining little debate on the matter a short time ago), I offer up my 10 favorite holiday songs, as well as my 5 most disliked. Please keep in mind that music is a very personal thing, so your mileage may vary.

1. "The Hallelujah Chorus" - Frederick Handel, sung by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. The showstopping finale from the greatest musical rendition of the Greatest Story Ever Told (tm, the Catholic Church, Rome). In my opinion, not just a great piece of holiday music, but one of THE brilliant classical music scores ever written. It still gives me goosebumps every time I hear it.
2. "Christmas Eve in Sarajevo" - Trans-Siberian Orchestra. How the remnants of a semi-popular heavy metal band were able to come up with this simultaneously thundering yet haunting instrumental classic is completely beyond my ability to comprehend. It is the only other song that gives me goosebumps every time I hear it, not just because of the instantly memorable melodic hooks but because of the juxtaposition of one of the 1990's greatest tragedies with one of the Western world's holiest days. A simply stunning work that makes me stop what I am doing every time it comes on the radio.
3. "Christmastime is Here" - The Vince Guaraldi Trio - You may not know the name, but I guarantee you know the song. I could have picked any of the three classics from "A Charlie Brown Christmas," but to me this is the best is it is both specific to Christmas ("Lucy and Linus" first appeared in this show but is in most of the Peanuts animated shorts) and an original composition (why I eliminated "O Tannenbaum" from consideration). Like a great wine, this smooth, sophisticated piece of genius is a relaxing counterpoint to the hustle and bustle of the season. Perhaps the world's only 6 minute stress buster.
4. "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" - Andy Williams Orchestra. I refuse to acknowledge the Christmas season is drawing near until I hear this chestnut played during the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade. To me, that really kicks off the holiday season. It's not as musically impressive as the first three songs on this list, but the catchy melody and swelling orchestration make it memorable, even if I still don't get the lyric about "scary ghost stories." Both Tony Bennett and Johnny Mathis have done solid covers, but I simply like the original best.
5. "Santa Baby" - Eartha Kitt. It's not just because it's one of my wife's favorite holiday songs. I love that the song seamlessly melds a "bedroom vocal" that skewers the holier-than-thou aspects of Christmas with an unconcerned avarice that lampoons the endless commercialization of the holiday season. This song makes guys want to buy that lacy negligee for their wives, while simultaneously giving them license to do so. Madonna has spent 30 years trying to come up with a vocal this sexy.
6. "O Holy Night" - Live version, performed by Josh Groban. A superb, soaring rendition of a classic carol that clearly benefits from it's live performance. While I am not a fan of his usual overwrought histrionics, Groban's restrained (for him) yet powerful performance sets this apart from the many other versions of this song out there. There's no doubting the quality of his voice, and when he respects the music as he does here, he really can create something special.
7. "Mary, Did You Know?" - Kenny Rogers and Wynonna Judd. Just about everything except a traditional carol, this quiet yet thought provoking jewel is perhaps the greatest "this is what Christmas is really about" song in rotation on most radio stations this time of year. Both Rogers and Judd give strong, measured performances, yet it is the brilliance of the lyrics that grabs me every time. I know how many questions and emotions ran through my mind every time I looked at the faces of each of my newborn daughters. And neither of them is the daughter of God.
8. I Wanna Hippopotamus for Christmas" - Gayle Peevey. And now for our goofy entry, allow me to present this rollicking, Italian-flavored bit of whimsy. As far as I know, the singer isn't known for anything but this song, but her little girl voice and the extremely clever lyric make me laugh out loud each time I hear it. Also, last year my younger daughter got hooked by this song, and wound up getting a big stuffed hippo under the tree!
9. "Carol of the Bells (Instrumental version)" - David Foster. I really can't explain why this is my favorite version of this classic carol. Perhaps it is the swelling orchestration, or the staccato, slightly accelerated tempo. Perhaps it is the prominent brass section. Maybe it's the pair of piano interludes. I just know that I really like this version, and can listen to it repeatedly without complaint.
10. "Sleigh Ride" - Leroy Anderson. While there are about a million versions of this song, my favorite remains the original as recorded by the composer Anderson. Best know for his use of unconventional percussion instruments and short, "Pops" style pieces, it all came together perfectly in this song, which really evokes the feel and mental images of a horse drawn sleigh ride down a country lane. How it came to be primarily associated as a holiday song is beyond me (unless it was Arthur Fiedler including it in every Boston Pops Christmas Concert for about 25 years). Still, it's a happy, bouncy fun song that always brings a smile to my face when I hear it (kind of a Christmas song version of Tigger!).

6 Honorable mentions: "The Christmas Song" - Nat King Cole version, "All I want for Christmas is You" - Mariah Carey version (yes, God forgive me, I just wrote that!), "Mary's Boy Child" - Boney M version, "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" - Frank Sinatra, "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch" - Thule Ravenscroft/Boris Karloff (Ravenscroft - better known as the voice of Tony the Tiger - sang and Karloff narrated), "Winter Wonderland" - Annie Lennox version (she could make a reading of the New York phone book sound good....).

And on the flip side, here are the 5 songs that make me want to sit on a rooftop Christmas Eve, one eyelid blinking faster than the other, with a Stinger missile and muttering to myself {in a witches' voice}, "I'll get you, you fat little elf, and your little reindeer too. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

1. "So This is Christmas" - John Lennon and Yoko Ono. I know, by definition, anything with Yoko Ono involved is a disaster. However, this self aggrandizing tripe can only be blamed on the writer, and that was Lennon. "War is over", John? Tell that to the shades of the millions who have perished in conflicts since you penned that asinine lyric. Do you want to take credit for their deaths too? I can't turn the radio off fast enough when this comes on....
2. "Wonderful Christmastime" - Wings. It's ironic that the person to blame for the 2nd song on this list is a former bandmate of Lennon's. In an failed attempt to one-up his former partner when it comes to dreadful holiday songs, McCartney foisted this drivel on the world. I'll allow his apologists to claim he was high when he wrote this, because the atonal melody, vapid lyrics and spoken-word level vocals surely obscure the true talent that McCartney undoubtedly is/was. A dreadful effort from a seminal musical figure.
3. "Last Christmas" - Wham. There's a reason why most of George Michael's biggest hits were written by others, and this song (credited solely to Michael) shows why. This repetitive. vapid piece of fluff was a big hit in England due mostly to Michael unshaven chin and pelvis (before the various gay scandals broke around him). Due to similarities between this and a song by Barry Manilow, Wham was forced by a court settlement to donate all the proceeds to charity. I can understand why the talented Manilow didn't want any of the royalties generated by this crap.
4. "The Christmas Shoes" - NewSong. A monster downer based upon an urban legend from the Internet, this song would be enough to make Tony Robbins consider suicide a legitimate option. I know, I know, the message is about charity and self-sacrifice, but good grief, what a depressing set-up. Perhaps I'm being callous here, but listening to a story about a soon to be orphan begging for cash to buy ruby slippers or whatever is NOT my idea of a good time. I have enough trouble watching Bambi the rest of the year, so this sure as heck doesn't create any "holiday spirit" in my book!
5. "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" - Frank Sinatra and Cyndi Lauper (No, that's not a misprint). Great idea! Hook up Ol' Blue Eyes and the Fun Girrrrl and have them remake a seasonal classic. Uhm, no. Instead they got Old Blue Eyes (the one whose voice was shot) and a squeaky-voiced ex-professional wrestling manager wannabe. Needless to say, the trainwreck that followed is best left in the moldering files of Dr. Demento so as not to demean Sinatra's brilliance. Lauper is now providing voices for animated children's television and doing occasional nostalgia appearances. Yep, that's about right. Let us speak no more of this forever.

Well, there you have it. As I said at the beginning, one man's trash is another's treasure, so please keep your flames to yourself. However, if you would like to post your own lists, please feel free to do so. I would be interested to see if there was anything I missed. Finally, my best wishes to everyone for a wonderful holiday season.

Take care,

John

Ain't Technology Grand...?

Ok. 2:02am EST. I am surrounded by 2 IBM ThinkCentre workstations, an IBM AP1 server and associated hardware, an HP laptop (my personal one), an HP notebook (my dearest and beloved's), a cell phone and a speaker phone. Of the 5 computers, ONE is working properly! The server's exhaust fan failed about midnight, causing it to overheat and shut down, taking the workstations with it. Both the speaker phone (connected to our hardware support company) and my cell phone (connected to IBM support - THANK GOD for unlimited overnight minutes!) are quiet right now. Every now and again one or the other will speak as they try to figure out how to email me a new exhaust fan motor (which is what I really need, but can't get my hands on right now). I even went and got one of our Rigid Airmover 1600's from the maintenance shop (which we use to dry pool decks and carpets and stuff) and cranked it up, but to no good use other than blowing several years worth of dust all over my office. Whilst that is going on, I am simultaneously trying to save my ancient HP Pavilion ze2000 laptop from the Blue Screen of Death (Tm, Microsoft, company motto "Why fix it if it's going to break anyway?), aka a fatal hardware error. However, I found a fix for the BSoD online, and had just started running it when all the other fun activities (for which I am actually being paid) kicked in. To assist in this my darling wife loaned me her notebook, at the sacrifice of no Internet access for a whole night at home, and that is what I am typing on right now. Needless to say, this is rediculous bordering on farce. About $15,000 in computer equipment and a $1,200 laptop are being thoroughly outperformed by my wife's $300 notebook. I should work for the Defense Department in procurement.....

It's one of my favorite times of the year, with the kick-off of the Barclay's Premiership just hours away. 20 teams enter the new season with both monsters and minnows hoping to take home some kind of silver. Who will achieve those goals? Here's are a few predictions (though we all know a blind monkey throwing darts at a board in a dark room will likely do as well as I do).

The Premiership - Though many can hope, realistically the race for the title comes down to four teams, with a fifth pushing hard to be included in that group. In a race that I think will come down to the last several weeks, it will once again be Manchester United raising the trophy. Despite the losses of Christiano Ronaldo to Real Madrid and Carlos Tevez to Manchester City, they still possess a ferocious attack led by Wayne Rooney, Dimitar Berbatov and underrated newcomer Antonio Valencia. The best defense in the league returns intact, though goalkeeper Edwin van der Sar will miss the early season with broken fingers. As a bonus, they have the best manager in England (and maybe all of Europe) in Sir Alex Ferguson. The scorelines may be a little closer, but the end result will be the same: plenty of Red Devil victories. Once again dogging their heels will be Liverpool. Like ManU, The Reds also dealt with a heavy loss over the summer when Xabi Alonso took more of Real Madrid's cash and headed for Spain. That puts an even heavier burden on Steven Gerrard, not the best of developments for a brilliant player who is showing signs of being brittle. The defense is solid, and Pepe Reina is a class keeper, so it should come down to scoring goals . While I do think that Liverpool will give ManU a solid battle, if either Gerrard or equally injury prone striker Fernando Torres is lost for any length of time, I could easily see this team dropping out of the top four. Battling for third will be Arsenal and Chelsea. The Gunners have a potent attack, led by the enormously gifted Andrei Arshavin, Cesc Fabregas, Robin van Persie and Carlos Vela. However, there are two concerns. First is whether the attackers can stay healthy. All 4 missed significant portions of 2008-09, and more injuries could cause Arsene Wenger serious heartburn. The other is can the Gunners keep the ball out of their own net. Manuel Almunia is a quality keeper, but the defense was a weakness last season and doesn't look improved at this point. Chelsea will once again be led by Frank Lampard, John Terry, Michael Essien, Didier Drogba and Nichlas Anelka. The good news is that they form a stable core that new manager Carlo Ancelotti can build around. The bad news is that none of them is getting any younger. Drogba had a poor season in 20008-2009, and Anelka disappeared for the middle third of the season. Keeper Peter Cech is capable of both moments of brilliance and serious howlers. It's a little hard to know what to expect from Chelsea, but I think that Arsenal will pull away at the end of the season to finish third with Chelsea fourth. The wild card here is Manchester City. The new Arab owners have spent a huge amount of money to try to build a contender, but injuries are taking their toll with high priced acquisitions Roque Santa Cruz, Gareth Barry and Kolo Toure already in the training room. There appears little question that they will score goals, led by Tevez and Emmanual Adebayor, but the defense is a huge question. Shay Given is a competent keeper, but were I Mark Hughes I would have looked to upgrade that position. As it stands, I can see ManCity finishing anywhere from 4th to 12th but most likely they will wind up in the 6th-9th place range.

Just two teams comprise the ranks of the hopefuls, in that with a few good breaks they could land a place in European competition. Of them, I like Everton the best. A lot of deadwood was pruned from a 5th place squad over the summer, and several key players who were injured last season, including playmaker Mikel Arteta and striker Yakubu are set to return Add that to a good defense, the best goalkeeper in England in Tim Howard, and a number of young and up coming players, and this is a very solid side. I have some concerns about their depth, but the Toffees will be fighting for a place in Europe in 2010. The other side is Tottenham Hotspur. Herry Redknapp nearly pulled a rabbit out of the hat in leading the team from the relegation depths to a top 8 finish during the second half of 2009. He will be looking to build on that with the addition of Peter Crouch to an already potent attack led by Luca Modric, Robbie Keane and Jermaine Dafoe. Wilson Palacios adds bite in the midfield, while the defense (which was surprisingly strong in the second half last year) relies on stalwarts Ledley King and Jonaathan Woodgate. The chief concerns are the health of King and Woodgate, and the shaky goalkeeping situation, where neither Gomes nor Carlo Cudicini appear to be the answer. Still this is a team with the talent to cause lots of problems, and perhaps even get that coveted European spot.

At the opposite end of the table, three teams stand out as relegation candidates. It would be quite the surprise to me if any of these sides remained in the Premiership at seasons end. First up is Portsmouth. Left a shambles and facing bankruptcy by previous owners, the side has finally found a deep pocketed owner. The problem is the arrival of Sulaiman al Fahim is likely too late to make the changes necessary for immediate success. Most of last year's key players have fled for greener pastures, leave a side lacking any real star quality. With few attacking options and a porous defense, keeper David James is looking at a long season on picking the ball out of his own net. Another current Premiership side that appears to be in deep trouble is Hull City. After a nearly miraculous start to last season, the club completely fell apart and barely survived relegation. US striker Jozy Altidore and Steve Hunt should at least provide a little more offensive spark, but otherwise there is precious little new blood in a side that has won just twice in 30 games. The defense is pedestrian, goalkeeper Matt Duke is a liability and there are whispers that manager Phil Brown may barely last into the season. Barring a stunning development such as a monster season from Altidore, the Tigers are headed back to the Colaship. Finally, as much as I admire the fighting spirit of Burnley's newly promoted side, they are woefully out of their depth in the Premiership. They simply don't have the speed, talent or money to compete on a long-term basis at this level. Their offseason activities seem to acknowledge this, as they have been frugal to say the least. It will be one year in the bright lights, then back to the second division they will go.

So that is one observer's take on the English Premiership 2009-2010. Future posts will deal with the FA Cup and UEFA Champions League. Make sure to save this so you can come back and make fun of me in the spring when I will have proven badly off base.

Until next time, thanks for reading!